I’m talking as a mama of four kids whose ages vary from ages 2 to 11. Your experience may be very different to mine but if you have a big family you may relate to this. I also think if you have one or two children then you will relate to this too.

I’ve recently become more aware of how the change of routine, the need to entertain more, the increase in noise levels and more food prep, and an increase in workload greatly impacts my stress, anxiety and overall wellbeing. Looking after kids can be immensely challenging, whether you have one or five children, they all have individual needs that we have to try and meet. Working around their individual needs can be exhausting!

Time for you? One reason why we can feel so drained is that you no longer have that time for you. Time you might have during term time – even it’s half an hour being able to put the clean clothes away. It just isn’t there anymore. Your time gets thrown out the window!

I’m not going to lie, approaching holiday times always makes me nervous. Knowing there is a juggling act ahead – between my work, play for the kids, cleaning, generally being a mama and trying to keep yourself well is all a little too much.

I’ve accepted that holidays are never going to be perfect, screen time is likely to increase more than I would like (sanity is something you have to be mindful of). There will always be people who say their kids don’t have more than an hour a day and that’s great if you can minimise this. But talking from my experience with four kids, screen time has sometimes saved complete carnage and allowed me to have a break during the day.

Don’t let any family member make you feel inadequate. If you have guests – make sure they have boundaries on commenting on what you should and shouldn’t do. Remember they aren’t doing the day to day grind that you are. Do not let them make you feel like you should be doing something else. Yes I’ve been there and I won’t let it happen again!

Mental health for a mama is an absolute priority. Not only for yourself but for your kids.

You have to do what you can to be the best you, and that may be in a way which someone else doesn’t agree with. No one has the right to comment.

These are my absolute top tips for the summer holidays to help them be the best for my mental health:

• Utilise local clubs and sports. This has been a game changer for me. 1) It occupies your child’s brain, 2) helps them to socialise, and 3) keeps a routine similar to school days.
• Plan some days together. Having neurodiverse children has meant they need to know as much as I do about what’s happening. When we don’t have a plan – it means carnage for lots of people in my family. Speaking amongst my “mum” friends this is really actually common.
• Stick to a bedtime routine. This is a lot harder than I thought now some of my children are approaching early teens (the objections are real!). Keeping a bedtime does mean you’re not contending with over tired kids! We all know if they go to bed at 11, they still are get up at 7am (and if they are anything like mine – the later they go to bed, the earlier they wake up!)
• Get a park run in (not the 5km lol – just a trip to a park). It’s free and we always behave better when we get out. This is my regime (it is a must and even if we don’t have any plans – we go to the park) and I instantly see a difference in their behaviour. It’s like a pill – free endorphins, Vitamin D and uses up their energy.
• Home workouts. Some days this has been the only way for me to get any movement in. Kids at home more has meant that I can’t get to the gym or do the long runs I would have normally got in. Exercise still needs to happen even if it is holidays. Our bodies still need to move and this is been a life saver for me personally.
• Be aware of your child’s sugar intake. Their behaviour affects your mental health and if they are eating badly they’ll normally behave in the same way (from my experience anyway). That’s not to say eliminate all rubbish – remember it’s about balance and building a healthy relationship with food. Studies suggest that improved protein levels in neurodiverse children really help their development – this has been a game changer for me and my kids!
• Utilise any help you can. Sleepovers with trusted family and friends are not only good for you to have a break but for them to build independence. Some of mine are happy to do this, some are not but the ones that are happy I’ve utilised this and benefitted from the lesser load of four monkeys (and they’ve had so much fun – thanks Grandad!).

Your journey with your kids is yours and your mental health within all this is so important – it will make the difference of a good experience or bad experience. Kids are hard – a juggling act around work and life!

Happy mum, happy child. Keep #grafting…

Natalie Bhangal is a personal trainer who has a passion for health, fitness and strength training. She trains beginners, athletes, pregnant and postnatal women, those with injuries and injury prone clients. For more information email natalie@graftfitness.co.uk